


Acceptance

by Patrocool (all_the_homo)



Series: patchwork quilt [5]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Teachers, Angst with a Happy Ending, Arguing, Cats, Hopeful Ending, More of a hopeful ending, Multi, Post-High School, Sleep disorders, Trans Character, Unhealthy Obsession with Government, Unresolved Emotional Tension, angst???, ftm James, kind of, mentions of transphobia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-06
Updated: 2016-12-06
Packaged: 2018-09-02 18:07:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,358
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8677606
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/all_the_homo/pseuds/Patrocool
Summary: As a lonely teacher living in a cramped apartment with books and scattered papers written all over as his company and one beautiful cat, James wasn’t quite sure if he was lucky or not that old faces didn’t come back to haunt him. At the very least, his students, coworkers, and cat gave him all the company he needed.  Hah. As if I needed someone else to walk into my life and ruin it all.Escaping from his inner thoughts while grading papers after school,  he raised an eyebrow at the bad grade in front of him and set it to the side before a knock on the door to his classroom made him pause.“James? Uh, long time no see.”Counting the seconds until he wanted to die, James slowly turned to look at the door and see in the window the face of Thomas Jefferson, smiling awkwardly and waving as he somehow strolled back into James' hell.  * * * * *Or, James is a narcoleptic AP Government teacher with better things to do than to listen to Thomas Jefferson jumping back into his life.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, yall! It's Will here (patrocool) and I did not write this part! Surprise, surprise, my beta pap- or paperbound is an amazing writer, and they get all the credit for this part. Really all I did was check for mistakes, and make sure it fits into the series. So, yes, this does in fact happen in the series. I'd just like to say that my portrayal of Thomas and James are a bit different than paperbound's, since we are different people and see them differently, but this is 100% "canon", at least to patchwork quilt. Shy pap is shy, so don't be upset if their replies seem awkward or anything, I can promise you that they will be screaming every time they get a comment. So, enjoy!
> 
> -Will (Patrocool)
> 
> hello, i'm pap uvu i'm not that good with notes so i'll just say thank you for reading, and please enjoy the fic! 
> 
> -paperbound

“.... Mr. Madison? Sir? You need to wake up. Your lecture on our legislative branch is still going on.” A pair of hands and a voice were the first things to wake him, and James Madison yawned sleepily as he was roused from his position, slumped in his chair. “I’m sorry, mister, but you can’t sleep the period away even if your narcolepsy is at fault.”

... Where was he? He had been floating in that abyss of sleep, he had been weightless for a moment and he was brought back to earth by hands and a concerned look from a teenager.

Ah. Teenagers. He looked around and raised an eyebrow before groaning and smiling softly, glad that they woke him up in the middle of his lecture.

James huffed grumpily- although the kid did have a point- and ran a hand over his head before looking over the class of kids he taught. “Sorry, everyone. Where was I when I fell asleep?”

 As a kid helpfully pointed out where he was in the slide he jumped back into the presentation, all sleepiness ignored from that narcoleptic bout and energy poured into the love he had for the subject. It was his passion, his drive, what he loved to do. Government was fascinating, all facets of it, and he slowly but surely ingrained that into the teenagers he taught.

 Government was never boring, after all, and it was his job to make them understand and even start to like it themselves. The enthusiasm he had was enviable- and made him perfect for the role even with his medical records halting class sometimes. The school was glad to have him as an addition to their staff that school year.

 It was also where he had spent his high school years in that New York City private school- quietly making his way through every day and falling asleep while acing all of his classes.

He smiled at the eager teenagers in front of him, arms gesturing as he jumped into another sentence.

“So, kids, about the Senate…”

 

* * *

 

Those sudden bouts of sleep in the middle of anything was something James hated, loathed, reviled.

They chased him like a snake hunting its prey, striking sudden and quick before he woke up and realized he had just unintentionally wasted a few minutes of his life. 

Restless sleep in the night worsened it and it got worse with the less nightly sleep he had- more bouts, more trouble, more of needing his students to make sure he got through the lesson and didn't completely sleep through it all. 

It wasn’t like he _meant_ to have a condition that made him fall asleep in the middle of a sentence, the middle of a word. He didn’t want to have to make it so that he had no first period just in case he fell asleep on the subway in the morning and missed his stop.

And it sure as hell didn’t mean he wanted to never be able to drive.

It had started, what, in the middle of high school? Thankfully it was always taken as him just being sleepy most of the time and his teachers didn’t mind as long as he finished his work. The people he sat with- Thomas Jefferson _(always the noticed one, thankfully, someone he could hide behind even when Hamilton could see them all)_ , Aaron Burr _(the quiet one that noticed everything, almost like him)_ , other people he forgot the names of but remembered their disgusting, revolting, laughing faces at everyone around them- passed it as the same, even if Burr had looked just a bit suspicious at how often it happened.

He didn’t see their faces anymore, and he was glad for that.

James was perfectly content alone in his teaching spot.

Anyways- James had been a sickly kid. Still was, somewhat, even without that sleep disorder. Narcolepsy making it unsafe to drive, bike, sometimes walk- and the side effects that were symptoms of it, James getting sick every few weeks even if it was never too bad... He had never had any athletic skill (even without the other things that hindered him) or many friends because of how he seemed. He considered himself lucky enough to have people around him at that time.

As a lonely teacher living in a cramped apartment with books and scattered papers written all over as his company and one beautiful cat, James wasn’t quite sure if he was lucky or not that old faces didn’t come back to haunt him. At the very least, his students, coworkers, and cat gave him all the company he needed.

_Hah. As if I needed someone else to walk into my life and ruin it all._

Escaping from his inner thoughts while grading papers after school- a calming task that took away tension from a day of talking to needy students- he raised an eyebrow at the bad grade in front of him and set it to the side before a knock on the door to his classroom made him pause.

_Is it a kid needing tutorials again?_

“James? Uh, long time no see.”

Counting the seconds until he wanted to die, James slowly turned to look at the door and see in the window the face of Thomas Jefferson, smiling awkwardly and waving as he somehow strolled back into James' hell. 

 

* * *

 

“So... how’s your day been? I was amazed when I heard you taught here.” He sounded tentative on what he said to James- strange, but at least he wasn't too loud.

“I've been good.” Since Thomas had gotten there? Horrible. He didn’t want the talkative man in his classroom and there he was, trying to talk to him as he graded papers and when James’ eye twitched the other took no notice and _kept fucking talking._ He didn't notice Thomas wincing at his flat tone and kept writing, a little sign coming out of his lips with a kid that barely passed.

He seemed oddly subdued at first before James showed no outwardly hostile signs- like Thomas needed to know if James was mad at him. Yes, he was, but....He took his mind off of the matter and focused on Thomas out of the corner of his eye, straightening the tie on his suit and grinning as he launched into a story. 

“So, as you most likely know I’m a lawyer with Washington’s firm- yeah, as you also probably know he quit that principal position here and started his own firm- and Burr and Hamilton are there. Hamilton is the most insufferable little thing there, always going “Dad, Jefferson did this” or “Jefferson does that”, and what does Washington do? He scolds me! _Me!_ ”

James took a deep breath and pushed a paper aside with a red 100 and a smiley face on it before continuing to grade quizzes.

It was a shame he couldn't get away with hurting Thomas just a bit for how nearly rude he had been for coming in and messing up his calm. He wanted to kick him out with at least a slap. He was annoying, and old pains from back in high school kept bothering him- bitter conversations where both of them had left pissed off and hurt.

Again, James pushed his emotions down where that was concerned. 

“Mhm.” James wouldn’t talk with him and soon enough Thomas would learn and get out of the room. His kids didn’t even go to the school, did they? He would have noticed a Jefferson in there, and he at least knew he had three kids. He had heard the fashion design teacher gossip about it when they first met.  _(The teacher had been there ever since he was a freshman, they loved Hamilton's group, they had looked like a cat that got the canary when they first locked eyes with him. James was wary ever since. It never hurts to be cautious.)_

“And he tells _me_ , of all people, to clean up the mess that Hamilton started, so of course I got Burr to take care of it so I could keep working on my case.” Out of the corner of his eye, James could see that Thomas was gesturing with his hands and getting more passionate as he spoke, ignoring the quiet safe space James had and slowly becoming louder. He was eager to share, eager to please, even if this wasn't pleasing James at all, really.

_When would he stop?_

“Hmm.”

“And then Hamilton, the fucker that he is, keeps blasting Les Mis in the office next to mine and goes into my room to ask if I _liked_ it?” He sounded so angry, holy shit. James wasn’t sure if he was amused at the story or just extremely angry that he was disturbing his grading time. “To make things worse he turns it _up_ when I ask for him to turn it down and _Washington does nothing. Nothing, James. Nothing._ ”

Thomas’ ranting was starting to get to James- the red pen he was writing with was shaking in his annoyance until finally he stood up in the middle of a sentence and glared at him hard enough to stop Thomas speaking. Thomas paused, staring at James confusedly- before paling when he spoke.

The secretly cruel demon residing in James' heart would forever treasure the look on his face when he went off on Thomas.

“Excuse me, but did I even invite you inside of my room? No, no-” he held up a hand when Thomas tried to speak, looking hurt and devastated, _he was on a mission and his former friend could not stop him_ \- “Yes, I opened the door, but I did not invite you inside. You let yourself in.”

His tone was like he was scolding a student, cold and giving no ground. Each word was meant to hurt, to remind, to let him know that at this moment in time that he was not welcome here. “This is a time I reserve for grading papers before I go home, and you are wasting my time with stories and blabbering. I will talk with you when you have a valid reason to do so. Your kids do not go to this school so do not even think of coming here with stories of your children. Come back when you aren’t wasting my precious time." 

James raised an eyebrow when Thomas gaped at him before spluttering, outraged. He opened the door for the taller man and frowned. “There is a door right here. I intend for you to go through it, Thomas.” His voice was deadpan and showing no amusement at his flustered rage. The suited man stepped back, eyes wide and posture shrinking like he was incredibly sorry for something. James didn't allow himself to linger on this for even a second before paying attention to the answer.

“But- Jemmy! I’m your best friend! You can’t just abandon me like this and not listen to me!” He was hurt and angry and sad, that was for sure, but James had no room for bullshit. The teacher leveled an annoyed eye at the man. At another step back, he continued his cold words towards Thomas. His old friend. The one that hadn't spoken to him since a bitter encounter- in high school, but nonetheless bitter and cold and stinging both of them til this day.

“We haven’t talked in over ten years, Thomas. Get out and come back when you won’t waste my time, please. I have a job and papers to grade.”

He turned his back on the taller man after forcing him out of the door. James didn't notice the look Thomas had, as if the world was falling out from under him and James was the only one who could save him- and instead, he signed and shut the door behind him.

Once silence came back, he resolved to shut that new memory in a place where he wouldn’t think of it for the moment before returning to grading the pop quiz he had given his AP Government kids. 

Old faces were just… One of the dangers that came with teaching at his old high school. 

Memories of friendships and the breaking of them with screaming and fights haunting him were another.

 

* * *

 

“Constitution, I’m home,” he mumbled softly after locking the door to his apartment behind him. A loud meow answered before an elegant furred body rubbed along his feet and he smiled down at the graceful cat that blessed his every day.

She meowed again at him, eyes blinking curiously, and James huffed out a laugh and grinned down at her before it slowly turned into a frown.

“You won’t believe the day I had today. Fell asleep a few times during classes and just when I thought I had a decent day, Thomas Jefferson showed up.” Setting his things near the door he picked up his cat and hummed while she seemed to purr in question of who Jefferson was.

He sat down on his couch, Constitution in his lap- yes, Constitution, he loved government- and started speaking quietly to her even though she wouldn’t comprehend what James was telling her.

“Mm, Thomas was a kid in my high school. One of the most obnoxious, outgoing people I knew. Know? Shit, Constitution, I don’t know. Stop giving me that look.” Glaring at his cat, that frown quickly dissolved into a smile before he softly gave her a pat on the forehead and kept talking. “Whatever, who cares." 

James paused before continuing. “Well, I guess he was my best friend. I didn’t connect with many people back then. Maybe Thomas and Aaron Burr at most. I was a young quiet guy because I didn’t have access to T and all I had was my binder and a short haircut to pass, you know? Sure, I look more masculine now, but that’s because I have the ability to take T and my voice is lower and I pass without much worry besides still needing my binder. Point is, back then my voice was higher and I talked less so people wouldn’t find anything strange.”

All that answered him was an empathetic purr.

His hand kept comfortingly rubbing her back, more for himself as he softly talked about what happened more than fifteen years ago when they were in high school. The doctor who had helped him get T had given him advice to get a pet so that he’d be less lonely and anxious. James had never been more thankful for her.

Essentially, Constitution was his service cat with all of the things he had- and he unloaded all of his emotional bullshit on her, too. She kept his mood stable, unlike before when cuts could possibly litter his body and didn't have another creature to care for.

“There was this out non-binary sophomore, Lafayette, whose group Thomas hated and I could care less about. Thomas decided to stoop low when we were seniors, after we built a friendship, and insult them for being non-binary. That was… hard for me to watch. Sure, his family was Republican. Hell, my family was big and conservative and acted like I didn’t exist after I came out to them other than abuse from my parents.” His laugh was short, hateful, bleak.

Constitution merely purred and rubbed up against his hand.

“He refused to fucking apologize that afternoon when he found me. Holy hell, he saw that it mattered to me and asked why but it wasn’t like I was going to finally tell him I was trans. And we blow up at each other and nearly scream and I stayed alone for the rest of that year, with only Burr as occasional company. And he has the gall to come back now, talking about how I’m his best friend and acting like nothing happened? He’s not getting close to me unless there’s a valid reason, and even then he’s being kept at arm’s length.”

He was so pissed that he didn’t realize the cat on him was hurting until she meowed and he saw that he had a fistful of her fur- James softly and quickly apologized, petting her until she purred and curled back up. His voice was equally as quiet and hurt.

“Is it too much to ask for? I just wanted a quiet year teaching my students and building bonds with them. I didn’t want Thomas to come back and ruin my life. I don’t want him to come back and I know he’ll do it until I accept him.” 

Leaning back with his head against the pillow on the couch laying down, he closed his eyes and held Constitution close to him as he whispered.

“Why can’t I be given some peace for once?”

 

* * *

 

“Martha, you can’t keep doing this. You and your brother are out of control and if you keep it up you’re getting your money taken away.”

It was two days after the incident with Thomas coming back into his life, and on his laptop putting in grades, James paused at the familiar voice. 

_Fuck. And after I thought he wouldn’t show up again._

For some reason, though, he sounded different. Disappointed? Angry? “Holy hell, Martha, I’m not kidding. We’re talking more about this when I get home. Don’t you dare do anything more.” James averted his eyes to his computer when a knock sounded and sighed, thin fingers more used to writing nimbly typing out grades and notes on each of his students' progress.

“James? I swear I have a reason to be here, please open the door.” James groaned and stood up, pausing his typing and opening the door before waiting for the reason. “I’ll just- oh.” The taller man looked him up and down, seeing the tired look and the way that he wouldn’t get out of the way. “Okay then. I guess I’ll tell you about it now, uh. So, can you help me out and get me out of a thing with John Adams-”

“No.”

“Wh- Why? I really need you to go to a movie or something with me so I won’t have to meet up with Adams. Please, Jemmy. Pl-”

“Get out.” He shuts the door before Thomas can do anything and goes back to entering grades after locking it behind him.

It doesn’t hurt his conscience that he ignores all of Thomas’ pleading to come in that evening.

 

* * *

 

“James, please, I’m your friend, let me in-” 

“Stop. This is the fourth time you’ve tried to come in and all of your excuses have been horrible and flimsy. Your kids don’t come here. Your work has no influence on me. I’m not about to go do some kind of social activity with you. Just leave.”

“... Fine. But I’ll find a way in, Jemmy. I’ll be your friend.”

James turns away and doesn’t speak to him again that time.

 

* * *

 

"James-"

"Goodbye."

 

* * *

 

Thomas didn’t understand.

It had been more than fifteen years. What, eighteen? Nineteen? This should be enough to at least forgive him some. Enough for James to forgive him for what an ass he was back in high school. He had a job, he had kids, he had a life- and he had a little more decency in his heart, despite what  _Hamilton_ said.

Why would his friend push him away after so long without seeing each other? Why would he say that Thomas was a waste of his time? He could show him that after so long he was deserving of at least a conversation and not cold words and a back already turned towards him.

All that time ago he had been angry, angry at James because he disagreed with what he yelled at Lafayette about, angry at James because it didn't make sense. They were friends, they agreed on so much, and yet with one incident the quiet man blew up and ended their relationship. As if that didn't crush Thomas' dreams- an immature crush on the sleepier guy, one that he never had returned in the four years they had known of each other. 

Each rejection sent a new stab through his heart. Each rejection broke him a little more. 

Soon, his heart would be shattered and broken on the ground.

He still had to push, however- try to get into his heart yet again and get a genuine conversation going. Standing outside of the classroom door an hour after he knew the school hours ended, an idea popped into his head. Lafayette- they were the cause of the fight, they were the reason that they split, was James still really angry about that? Laf and Thomas had reached an agreement a year or so earlier- Laf was willing to rescue him from different people wanting to hang out with him and Thomas had been providing things to do instead.

Would this work? If he mentioned what he had with the Frenchman later that night, would Madison even take pause?

Fuck it. It was worth a try.

Back straight, that new excuse at the ready, he knocked on the classroom door in Liberty High and watched the door open before James, beautiful, stunning as ever answered the door with a cold look. It hurt, but it was worth it to see his face again- and a little smile appeared on his face.

“What is it this time?”

It was the seventh time he had visited. James was getting pissed, but hopefully this let him bypass those barriers and talk to James. Really, truly talk. His smile grew wider, even if his voice didn't match, quieter and questioning.

“Laf’s going to an art show with me, and I was... wondering if you wanted to come?” His voice was tentative, exploring the boundaries. He wasn’t enemies with Laf anymore, yes, even if Laurens still threatened to punch him and things weren’t at 100%, that agreement had held strong between the two. It was a win-win situation, and it was only up to chance that this encounter would end up favorably for Thomas. Names held power, but he wasn't about to chance it. "They were expressing the desire for a third person earlier today."

He could only watch with that smile and knowing eyes as James tilted his head and took a step forward, questioningly staring up at Thomas with those soul-searching, all-knowing eyes. Eyes nearly like a black void, taking in everything.

Despite how observant James was, he still looked perplexed. Confused. Thomas had finally gotten past one boundary in his quest to get him to crack, just a bit. “... Laf?” It seemed to be somewhat of a blast from the past for the poor guy, an eyebrow raised while he stared at Thomas and frowned.

“Are there any other Lafayettes you know? I said Laf. Yes, I mean that Laf. I solved things with them, we’re fine now.” He chuckled at James’ shocked expression before scratching the back of his neck. “Yeah, uh… would you like to come with us? I’d also like to have a chat with you, but I’m not sure if you’d want that. I used to be.....a real jerk. I know. You might not want to forgive me, even though we fought that last time we really talked, but.....would you forgive me? Please?"

James seemed to retreat just a bit before his eyes narrowed and he strode right back up to where Thomas stood. "Are you just going to go 'we fought' and leave it at that? You insulted them, you hurt them, and you had the audacity to tell me that you were right. That you were what you were, that your biological sex determined what you were?" With every word Thomas flinched back and looked down, ashamed and hurt.

"Jemmy....Seventeen years, more than that, is a long time. I know....more now. There are other genders, different ones are valid, okay? So are trans people. Fuck, Jemmy. I'm sorry. I just want to _talk_ again, like we used to, and I can see that you're lonely." He winced. "Please? At least give me a chance?"

The short haired man gave an exasperated, still angry sigh before looking up at Thomas with tired, worn out eyes. Still observant, but exhausted. "Alright, if only for the fact that you'll keep trying until I say yes."

Thomas gave a happy sound before he was shut off by a glare and a halfhearted snap from the teacher "Be quiet, at least, and have something interesting to converse about. Don't say anything if I tell you to be silent. That means I'm grading something important." Thomas snickered as he walked back inside and sat down to grade- sitting in another comfortable chair in front of the desk, he leaned back to watch him shuffle the pages and start working.

He was still wary of Thomas- but he got him to start talking, and that was what mattered. Talking, and the opportunity to know each other even better if James accepted him as a friend once again.

Well, it seemed like he’d cracked a bit off of the shell James had and gotten a bit closer.

Sitting down, he grinned and softly started going off on the government.

“Well, with our legislative branch right now…”

 

* * *

 

When James got home, he bundled up Constitution in his arms and smiled uncertainly down at her.

“Well, Constitution... things are changing. They might stay this way, they might not, I might kick Thomas out forever if he does something.” He watched as she purred and scratched at her chin with a leg. Cats didn't quite speak back- and as he went to go make evening tea with the Balinese cat in his arms, musing to her about the ongoings of his life, he was glad for it.

“I’m not sure how to feel about it, but there’s one thing I know...” A questioning meow asked what it was, and he chuckled as he started to brew some herbal tea.

“Well, the world will keep spinning, of course, and there’s nothing to do but wait and see what happens.”

**Author's Note:**

> So! Now you all know why James and Thomas fought back in Choice, and their motivations. Also, there's more to Thomas than meets the eye, as y'all will find out once I finish and post Rejection, which is actually a follow up of this story.
> 
> We live for comments and polite feedback! Tell us what you think, please keep it kind:) my beta deserves lots of nice comments. Thanks, y'all!
> 
> -Will (Patrocool)


End file.
